my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize