He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize