Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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