my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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