hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize