Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
