Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
