i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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