How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
