So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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