he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
