sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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