I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
