I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
