Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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