I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you didnt know i had herpes?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
