So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
