I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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