how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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