We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
