you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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