Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
