I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
