When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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