Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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