If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
