I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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