bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize