He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
