chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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