all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
