apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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