i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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