My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
