Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize