Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
