Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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