I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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