just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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