What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
sex in a hospital.. check
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
