I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
