Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
