I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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