We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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