Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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