If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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