Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
