Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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