Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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