My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
