I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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