Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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