you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
