i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
