is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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