It's Friday. Sex?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
