Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
