i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Randomize
